What a difference 30 years can make!

1970: Long hair.
2000: Longing for hair.

1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.

1970: Keg.
2000: EKG

1970: Acid rock.
2000: Acid reflux.

1970: Moving to California because it's cool.
2000: Moving to California because it's warm.

1970: Growing pot.
2000: Growing a pot belly.

1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.

1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

1970: Seeds and stems.
2000: Roughage.

1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2000: Popping joints.

1970: The US president's struggle with Fidel.
2000: The US president's struggle with fidelity.

1970: Being caught with Hustler magazine.
2000: Being caught with Hustler magazine.

1970: Killer weed.
2000: Weed killer.

1970: Hoping for a BMW.
2000: Hoping for a BM.

1970: The Grateful Dead.
2000: Dr. Kevorkian.

1970: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
2000: Getting a new hip joint.

1970: Rolling Stones.
2000: Kidney stones.

1970: Being called into the principal's office.
2000: Calling the principal's office.

1970: Screw the system!
2000: Upgrade the system!

1970: Peace sign.
2000: Mercedes logo.

1970: Parents begging you to get your hair cut.
2000: Kids begging you to get their heads shaved.

1970: Take acid.
2000: Take antacid.

1970: Passing the driver's test.
2000: Passing the vision test.

1970: "Whatever".
2000: "Depends".